The testimony of a mother who healed after falling into the abortion trap

A mother wounded by abortion recounts how Jesus helped her get out of the “deepest and darkest pit” of her life, becoming more present than before, healing her soul and putting light in the darkness.

ACI Prensa speaks with one of the women helped by Proyecto Esperanza, an initiative that accompanies fathers and mothers who want to heal their wounds and give new meaning to their lives after choosing abortion.

The cases in which women with a family already formed decide to abort are less known, but no less significant. This is the example of our interviewee, who decided not to continue with her pregnancy because her baby had a malformation, already having a small daughter and a stable relationship of more than 20 years. Out of respect for your privacy, your name will not be shared.

It was during a pregnancy control ultrasound when the couple found out that their baby had a malformation. The doctor, upon informing them of the situation, warned them that they could lose him at any moment.

“They also informed us of the option of having an abortion in case we did not want to continue. My partner and I immediately responded that this was not an option for us, that we planned to receive the baby equally regardless of her condition, because she was still our daughter.”

They seemed to have it clear, but when they communicated the news to their family and close friends, suggestions began to make new medical consultations and undergo more complex tests.

“With each conversation in our immediate environment or medical consultation, our hopes and strength were declining, the faces of disappointment, sadness and discouragement with which they received us were nesting in our hearts. The fear of the unknown and the anguish caused by making a decision in a very short time that would accompany us throughout our lives became increasingly present.”

Those around them encouraged them to think about their little daughter, who in the future would have to bear her sister’s illness once they were gone, and also about how their quality of life would radically change.

“Our heads were trying to process everything, but it seemed like we couldn’t imagine so many possibilities. Life had surprised us, it had taken an unexpected turn, nothing was as we had planned a few months before when we decided to look for our second daughter. And now there was little time to reorganize.”

At that time, the woman tells ACI Prensa, “I was a believer, but not very practicing. I had the habit of praying a lot and attending the recitation of the Holy Rosary, but I did not go to Mass frequently, I did not go to confession, I did not participate in the Eucharist.

“In that difficult moment of our lives I clung with greater devotion to faith, and every time I participated in a religious practice my life seemed to calm down, I found a certain peace and hope, I felt that someone with greater power than me had everything under control and that I just had to move forward.”

However, he specified that when he returned again “to the world” everything “returned to chaos, anguish and hopelessness.” He especially remembers “the anxiety that some people transmitted to me so that I would rush to make a decision; situations like that were an insistent threat to my peace of mind and to the life of my baby.”

And so, day after day, “our strength weakened while we waited for the results of new studies. When they finally arrived, we were both overwhelmed with so much discouragement and, when the doctor called us to mention the long list of physical and organic difficulties that, due to her malformation, would affect our baby if she were born, we were no longer the same as we were at the time. start”.

“I remember spending those days without being able to eat or sleep, in addition to the crying that accompanied me almost constantly. In a short time we decided that abortion would finally be the solution to end the chaos we were experiencing. I let myself be convinced that in these special cases, God lets us take his place for a moment and choose the path between life and death. We attended the abortion, believing that it was the best for our family,” he details.

“The crying was almost continuous”

The following days, he says, he felt “a small sense of relief,” as he believed “he had done the right thing.” Still, “the crying was almost continuous.”

A month after having undergone the abortion, the pathological study of her baby arrived. “At that very moment my life completely collapsed.” The report stated that due to the baby’s condition, he would have had approximately one more month of intrauterine life, which meant that he would not be able to fully develop and be born. “The pregnancy was going to stop very soon.”

“The doctor thought that this news would relieve my pain a lot, but it didn’t. In that same study they detailed how the different cuts had been made on her tiny body to carry out said examination, that was where I understood that my baby, in addition to being dead, had been destroyed.”

“The pain of the soul is indescribable”

He confesses that that same day “it was like entering hell (literal).” “What kind of horrible monster had I become? What mother would do something like that? I was completely unaware, it was like living in a horror movie and not being able to get out of there. What just a month before seemed to be an abortion performed and approved by professionals, was now the worst crime that a person who called herself ‘mother’ could commit.”

“My body and soul exploded, again I couldn’t sleep or eat, and the continuous crying that accompanied me. But the worst thing was wanting to get out of my own body and not being able to, it was like being trapped inside someone I didn’t want to be. I felt despicable, worthy of the worst punishment, I couldn’t stand being with myself. What a desperate feeling, I felt that not even death itself could end that suffering, so suicide, no matter how much I thought about it, was not an option either. The pain of the soul is indescribable.”

It was then that she discovered “the abortion trap.” Which, he assures, “is so well armed that only those who fall into it discover it.” Those who had encouraged her to abort continued with their lives, while her loved ones assured her that the pain would pass over time, but it did not.

Several months passed in this situation, and even his physical deterioration was very visible. However, he noted, “even in the midst of so much guilt and uncertainty, I begged God to get me out of that situation. I asked for forgiveness in a thousand ways and confessed to Him what He already knew, that I had been deceived, because abortion is a deception.”

“It is sold as the solution to different problems, and the only thing it does is immerse the mother in the greatest anguish that could exist. And it was there, in the deepest and darkest well of my life, when I really knew God, I gave myself completely to Him, because my life no longer belonged to me, in me nothing remained of what I had once been.

And I gave him, he continues, “everything I had: mud, just smelly mud, because that’s how I felt, in exchange for being able to raise my little daughter, whom I had wanted to protect and who needed me so much.”

“God became even more present than before”

God’s response, he assures, “didn’t take long to arrive, it was almost immediate.” He then began to attend healing Masses, pray the Rosary, take communion and confess, perform acts of service and attend Eucharistic adorations.

“It seemed that every day a new proposal was presented to know Him more and get closer to Him. My surrender was total because I no longer had anything to lose, not even my dignity was left, with each act I felt a small relief, it was like beginning to get out of the well going up step by step.”

“The well was so deep that it took me two years to see the light, to have a good day. A little before this date passed I felt ready to start a healing process called Project Hope. It was exactly what I needed to complete what God had already started.”

The protagonist of this story tells ACI Prensa how warmth, respect, attentive and loving listening, empathy and “thousands of other qualities that I could list from the person who was assigned to selflessly provide me with all his support and time, in addition to their experience and guidance, made this space a place of containment where I could express myself with total freedom.”

“For the first time in so long, my baby had a place again, a space, she could be named, missed, cried and I felt understood, since in my environment this openness was impossible.”

In this way, he points out, “God became even more present than before, healing each of those traumatic and painful moments, bringing light, understanding and acceptance of what happened.”

“For the first time in my life I knew the immense mercy of God and I understood what this undeserved love that Jesus has for each of us was about, to the point of dying on the cross.” He also highlights an encounter he had with a priest, “which brought a lot of relief and peace to my soul.”

“Today I know that my daughter rests in peace, and I want my testimony to reach every corner, bringing the truth about abortion and its consequences, so that those who fortunately did not live this experience, know the sad reality that accompanies this act in order to be able to “Help whoever needs it.”

Finally, he wishes to convey a message of hope to those who “have fallen into the trap and have not yet been able to experience a healing process.” “It is necessary that they give themselves the opportunity to be restored by Jesus, to live fully again.”