Priest who overcame a depression highlights the importance of mental health

“I was on the edge of the precipice, dead inside, in the depths of a dark well.” With these raw words, the Spanish priest Salvador Aguado Miguel shared his testimony after Suicide of Joven P. Matteo Balzanoa fact that has shaken the Catholic Church, especially in Italy.

Following this tragedy, Fr. Aguado shared through social networks Something that, until now, had not said in public:

“I was the same, on the edge of that cliff five years, in the deep thing of that dark well. Luckily Manuel appeared in my life, my psychologist, it was like an angel who rescued me sent by God. It is very very hard to be in that situation,” he wrote on his Instagram profile.

The parish priest of Santa Fe de Alfafar-Benetúser, in Valencia (Spain), revealed that he crossed an extremely difficult period of anxiety, during which he felt “dead inside.” He confessed that the pressure was so intense that he even thought about “taking off in the middle.”

The importance of mental health

In conversation with ACI Press, Fr. Aguado tells that he felt “very identified” with Father Balzano, because many times “we are not aware of those self -demand or all the pressures to which we submit ourselves.”

“We are not superheroes … We also go through emotional downs,” said the priest, who insists that going to a professional, especially a psychologist, “is not a bad thing, but quite the opposite.”

For Father Aguado, it is urgent to generate greater awareness about mental health and the importance of psychological help “at all levels.”

The “idealization” of the priesthood

The priest regrets that those who have gone through depression or publicly shared their suffering, and expressed their regret for the judgments issued after the suicide of Fr. Matteo Balzano:

“We have to put ourselves in the skin of those people. Recognizing something like that is not easy; I know from experience. In those moments, By much faith or commitment you have, managing such deep suffering is extremely difficult“, held.

He added that one of the reasons that leads to the demand and pressure on presbyters is the “idealization” of the priesthood: “We forget that human part, that fragile part.”

The self -examination for always giving the best of itself and the false belief that you have to be available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, led it to the limit, to the point of considering even abandoning the priesthood. “We also need our spaces: go to the movies, take a walk, have a coffee with another priest or with some parishioner,” he explained.

A deeply Catholic psychologist

On his experience with the psychologist, whom he described as “an angel” and a real gift from the Lord, highlighted the value of a “deeply Catholic” person.

“In the sessions we also worked with the Bible. Many times I was encouraged to read what Jesus did in this or that passage”, reflecting on the “most psychological” part of Jesus, he said.

Going to priests who may be happening a similar situation, Fr. Aguado encourages them to “be touched by the fragility of the Lord and understand that, in the end, we are not iron, but we are of flesh and blood.”

They advise them to retire the “mask” that “everything is fine” and learn to “combine human reality and priestly at the same time.” Above all, it recommends “that they let themselves be accompanied by professionals and by some sector of their parochial or pastoral reality, which is always very good.”

In addition to self -examination, he pointed out that criticism, both the clergy and the laity, also caused him a lot of pain. “I learned to manage all those attacks of criticism and anger with the Bible,” he said.

The Lord always draws a teaching of the bad

The Spanish priest, who last winter lived in his own flesh the tragedy of the Dana in Valenciawhich caused serious floods with a balance of more than 200 dead and large material damage, pointed out that “the Lord, of all the bad, always takes out a teaching.”

In his case, he says, he found his passion for digital evangelization, something that has helped “discover that unique gift that the Lord has put in my life.” Now, evangelizes with enthusiasm through social networks, where it has more than 50,000 followers.

Greater training from seminars

To anticipate these situations, Fr. Aguado suggests that there is more mental health training in the seminars: “We give us a lot of training on spirituality and theology, but we do not have mental health training,” he said.

According to the priest, they do not have a place to go when they are wrong, like a team of psychologists in the bishopric that can help them in the most difficult moments. “I think it is fundamental, in addition to the seminar, which is the place of training par excellence, that there is a subsequent accompaniment.”

Father Aguado concluded with hope, highlighting that the important thing is to recognize the problem, “realize that there is something to change in your life” and take the step to be helped.

If you or someone you know is going through an emotional crisis or suicidal thoughts, remember that the Catholic Church offers spiritual accompaniment, prayer and listening spaces, and encourages to seek professional help. You can communicate with help lines, as a national suicide prevention line corresponding to your country, or go to your parish, where you will find support and pastoral resources. The Catholic Church teaches that life is a gift from God and accompanies those who suffer, without judging and offering hope, prayer and comfort to affected families.