Finally, without much formal preparation due to his parents’ family business, he received Baptism.
Despite this, Fran continued to be linked to esoteric practices: “They gave me the cards, I loved this whole theme of spirits.” Deep down, he recognizes “he was a god tailored to me, because I believed, but he did whatever I wanted.”
Thus three years passed in which Fran dedicated a lot of time to cultivating her external image, going to the gym which led her to work as a model earning good money.
The spiritual and life turnaround came at the age of 25, when a newborn nephew was about to die. That was a strong shock to Fran’s soul that led him to pray fervently for her life: “The Lord told me inside: ‘This is the last chance.’ He told me like that,” she says. “I understood what I was doing wrong, how my soul was, I realized everything and said: it’s over, I’m giving up on this,” she adds.
“I no longer want other loves”
So Fran decided to confess “to a good priest,” he specifies. He thus narrates what the experience of receiving the Sacrament of Forgiveness was like:
“I have always wanted to seek love, peace. I have not found it in men, nor in money, nor in fame, because it was always empty. I confessed and counted all my sins, because I had incredible enlightenment from the Holy Spirit. When the father gave me absolution, I felt so much love! I felt God’s forgiveness, his mercy. That was something incredible for me. I felt floating, with a weight lifted off my shoulders. I couldn’t stop crying, asking the Lord for forgiveness. I felt so loved, so loved! And when I knew this love of God, I said: I no longer want other loves, because I have been unhappy, nothing more, I have suffered a lot. “I want to be with this love, I want to be with Jesus.”
Thus began a process of faith formation on devotions such as the Sacred Heart of Jesus or Divine Mercy. Fran had “an incredible thirst for God, to love him, to worship him, to serve him, to make amends, to do penance.”
And, following that path of conversion, he participated in an Effetá Retreat in which, in front of the Blessed Sacrament, “face to face with the Lord, I cried a lot and asked Him for forgiveness for what I did,” he explains.
Forgiveness to his mother: “She did not agree with my sin, but she loved me”
He also felt the need to apologize to his mother. She, who had been praying for seven years, told him: “Son, the Lord finally heard my prayers. The dagger that I had in my heart for you has already been taken out of me. Praise the Lord”.
For Fran it is important to explain how his mother had behaved towards him. “She did not agree with my sin, but she loved me. She didn’t tell me ‘bring your boyfriend whenever you want and introduce him to me’, no. She told me twice ‘I don’t agree with this, with your life’, but always with a lot of love and a lot of mercy.”
Some time later, after a trial, he was able to ask his father for forgiveness. “He also asked for my forgiveness and I had a very strong release, he took a weight off my shoulders.”
“The Holy Virgin is key in my fight against the devil”
Fran has been in chastity for five years: “I don’t want to be with anyone, I want to be with Jesus Christ, I want to be in his Church. The things of God are what make me truly happy and give me peace.”
Despite his determination, he recognizes that he has temptations, “attacks of the devil”, which he understands are “part of purification” and to combat them he tries to hear Mass and take communion daily, pray the Rosary and do penance.
He has also consecrated himself to the Virgin Mary following the 33-day path prepared by Saint Louis Mary Grignon de Monfort: “The Holy Virgin is key in my fight against the demon that will always try to take me back. I have to continually be in struggle. The Lord gives you perseverance.”
As part of that spiritual battle, in addition to being a fairground trader, Fran is a “missionary on social networks,” through his social media profiles. Facebook y Tik Tokwhere he tries to give “witness to young and old, giving the Word of God, a breath of peace and joy.”
Spiritual and psychological help to face your new life
In order to walk a new life, Fran has needed important spiritual and psychological help. First of all, for Close the doors who recognizes that he has opened through the occult.
“If Saint Mary Magdalene had seven demons, imagine,” admits Fran, who has undergone “liberation” rituals. In fact, she assumes “I’m still in the process.”
In other areas, Fran is aware that “the psychological part and the spiritual part go together”, which is why she was looking for “a good psychologist priest, who will not lead me to evil, but who will lead me to God” until she found him. : “The Lord has given me an excellent psychologist priest who addresses all these issues of same-sex attraction.”
Received Begging for confidence “with much pain and sadness”
Almost at the end of the extensive conversation with ACI Prensa, Fran does not hesitate when asked about his impressions about the document Begging for confidence about the pastoral meaning of the blessings, which sparked great controversy inside and outside the Catholic Church: “It caused me a lot of pain and sadness,” because the document “is very confusing, very ambiguous, it does not give light. It can confuse many souls.”
“What is being said a lot is ‘God loves you’ and, in fact, God loves us a lot. But he is omitting that we must convert,” explains Fran, remembering the words of Jesus: “Whoever wants to follow me, let him deny himself.”
Along these lines, he adds: “If we want to be in communion with the Lord, we have to try to do things well. We are sinners and we fall, but we must be on the path of conversion, every day. The Holy Curé of Ars already said that there is no greater charity than saving a soul from hell by telling the truth.
A double message for parents of people with same-sex attractions
In the last exchange, we ask Fran to freely express something that she wants to share about her experience and that she considers essential. Her double message is for parents of people who experience same-sex attraction.
On the one hand, he asks “that they love their children, but that they do not accept their sin. Because if they accept it, it will be useless for them to pray.” And he adds: “By confirming them in sin we are not helping them, we are condemning them.”
The second essential idea that he wants to convey is “that they never tire of praying for their children, because prayer has a lot of power of intercession.”
Nicholas de Cardenas
Born in 1980, I am a Spanish husband and father and journalist with more than 20 years of experience in print and digital media, specializing in sociopolitical and religious information. I have worked for more than 10 years in defense of human rights and have accreditations in Journalism and Comprehensive Communication. Since July 2022, I have been a correspondent for ACI Prensa and EWTN Noticias in Spain, covering international events of the Catholic Church.