Suicide: 5 Catholic keys to confront this personal and spiritual drama

There are many questions that arise when faced with the drama of a suicide, from the Catholic point of view. Is hell the inevitable destiny of the suicidal? What should we do as Christians in a case? How to act with the relatives of the person who took their own life? Is a hopeful vision of suicide possible from faith?

Every September 10, World Suicide Prevention Day is celebrated, a dramatic gesture that leads to death more than 700 thousand people every yearaccording to the World Health Organization.

1. The automatic condemnation of suicide, the first myth to debunk

“The first thing to debunk is the myth of the automatic condemnation of suicide,” explains Javier Díaz Vega, lay Catholic author of Between the bridge and the river. A look of mercy in the face of suicidea book in which he narrates his own experience of his mother’s suicide.

“Only God knows the heart of each person, their circumstances, their mental, family, work state, etc. All of this can influence when making a decision. We have to trust in God’s mercy,” he explains to ACI Prensa.

It is not the only myth to debunk: “Many things are said that are not real about the cowardice or bravery of suicide, for example, which do not help at all.” For this reason, Díaz sees the need “to talk about a topic that is still very silenced.”

“There are many people who feel very alone and have to face difficulties. They constitute a periphery that must be attended to and much remains to be done,” she diagnoses.

2. What to say to the family member of the suicide?

The moment of offering condolences to relatives and friends of a deceased person is usually delicate. Sometimes words are unnecessary and other times they are not enough. But being faced with the circumstance of talking to the spouse, child or parent of a person who has committed suicide is even more complicated.

What to say or do? Javier Díaz is clear on this point: “The first thing someone has to ask themselves in this situation is not what can I say, but what are you willing to listen to”.

But not in a hollow way, but “an open listening, without condemning, without judging, without taking away the importance that it has”. This includes avoiding clichés like “everything is going to be fine,” explains Díaz, a psychologist by profession.

3. Respect the times

Grief is a natural process, sometimes complex, whose development is influenced by a multitude of factors, from the manner of death to conditions on the physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual state of the people who have to go through it.

“Grieving for suicide is very complex,” says Díaz, because after the predictable shock it produces, “there are those who tend to silence it.” That is why it is important to understand that “sooner or later, what is ruminated inside has to come out.”

In this sense, it is necessary to “respect each person’s time,” because “there are people who spend years without expressing it, due to lack of tools or not having a listening place available.”

4. Strong church communities to support

In this sense, Javier Díaz confirms that “it is very necessary” to do pedagogy on the importance of ecclesial communities. “There are situations that surpass us” and to overcome them we need “strong communities where they can listen to us,” he claims.

In this sense, the work of the Family Guidance Centers of the dioceses is, in his opinion, “gigantic.”

It is also mandatory to promote “a culture of encounter in the community”, but that is not superficial but “deep”, he points out. For this work, good training of seminarians and priests is essential.

“Priests and seminarians need training, especially those who are in contact with young people and the elderly, who are groups at risk for suicide,” says Díaz, because sometimes these issues, due to their complexity, “need to be attended to by various professionals, beyond the spiritual direction or advice that can be given in a confessional.”

5. Bear witness to our faith

Javier Díaz Vega is present on X (formerly known as Twitter) under the name @javiviendo, which, given the circumstance, reflects enthusiasm, hope and joy despite the circumstances. You might think that he chose it for this reason, but that is not the case:

“My wife put his name in a gerund and I did too. I’m almost grateful that it was a coincidence, because I don’t have the skills of influencer. But you do want to bear witness,” he explains.

Because, “what we can always do is bear witness to the faith that helps us in difficult situations, to our vital sense to get ahead,” he warns.

Díaz adds that “faith is lived and manifested above all on the Cross. When it happens to us, embracing it is a testimony to others that only God makes it possible. If many have been able to heal through my testimony, it gives meaning to what I have experienced.”

What does the Catholic Church say about suicide?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CIC) teaches that Catholics have the obligation to receive life with gratitude and preserve it “for their honor and for the salvation of our souls” and emphasizes that “we are administrators and not owners of the life that God He has entrusted us” (2280).

Furthermore, the Church in its teaching indicates that suicide is contrary to the natural inclination of the human being to “preserve and perpetuate his life” and that it is “seriously contrary to the just love of self” and also offends his neighbor and God (2281 ).

Thirdly, the Catechism highlights that, “if it is committed with the intention of serving as an example, especially to young people, suicide also acquires the gravity of scandal” and defines “voluntary cooperation in suicide” as contrary to the moral law.

On the other hand, the Catholic Church is aware that certain physical, mental or emotional circumstances “can reduce the responsibility of the suicide” (2282).

The CIC also details that “one should not despair of the eternal salvation of those people who have killed themselves” since “God may have provided them with ways that He only knows about the opportunity for saving repentance.”

“The Church prays for people who have made attempts on her life,” the Catechism concludes in this regard in its number 2283.

Originally published September 10, 2022. It has been updated for republication.